Vegie Bar

While an adventure to the North happens sporadically and is met with hesitance and laziness, we always end up at Vegie Bar. This North Side institution is a regular hot spot for the locals with a melting pot of cultures and food from across the globe. It is generally filled with North Side hipsters, hairy hippies, South Side try-hards and yuppies all feasting on vegetarian delights. The idea is great and the menu is better but the conclusion on every meal is the same - each dish is missing essential flavours and merges into one tasteless flavour. Unfortunately, the same extends to the chips. While the slivered potatoes most likely boast organic, animal, gluten and vegan friendly, they are boring, lacking in texture and flavour. It is unjust to vegetarians, vegans and celiacs everywhere that they travel far and wide for vegetarian food in Brunswick and are served with boring chips! My heart goes out to those with dietary requirements and beliefs in animal cruelty to be subjected to mundane, uninspired French fries. They deserve better! These animal-loving vegans suffer enough due to the lack of meat in their diet and being unable to enjoy a medium-rare steak or Nandos chicken wrap. While the chips were perfectly cut and aesthetically pleasing, would it kill the tree-loving hippies to put some salt on it? We’re not expecting our beloved Chicken salt but there has to be sea salt that deters Indian child labour and respects animals in order for this chip-fanatic to demolish a side of fries! If we decide to indulge in a bowl of oil and carbohydrates, it has to be worth the guilt and the stomach rolls. While we successfully demolished the cone of chips and the accompanying aioli, it was due to the vegetarian delights failing to meet our ravenous appetites rather than a reflection on the taste of the potatoes. In order to provide some form of taste, we lathered the strip in the chilli sauce and tzatziki that was served with the samosas but much to our dismay, it lacked substance. 

Quote of the meal: 'Where's the chicken salt?'

Rating: 2/5 chips

Price: $5.50

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Rococo's

Get ready folks for another positive review! Make potatoes, not war and the world will be filled with satisfied consumers like us chicks right now. Bustling Acland Street's Rococo did just that and as we mull over that meal  a few short hours ago there is a lingering smile on our faces. Presented to us crispy and golden, we could barely contain our excitement as we rushed through the photo-shoot. We're on a mission to satisfy our palate with a perfect combination of crisp exterior and silky, fluffy insides and I guess the search is over (just kidding). Rococo's had it all - cute waiters, good coffee and the ultimate chips - we were as happy as the golden retriever sitting outside, lapping up the St Kilda sunshine. Home made tomato relish and aioli chaperoned the thick potatoes and while we preferred the salty yet lite aioli, the relish did not go unnoticed. It didn't take long for us to be scrapping the bottom of the sauce barrel for the last specks, before we were forced to request more. Fighting over the tiny crumbs and licking our fingers dry, we felt our guilty pleasure was indulged but without the guilt. They were far too fluffy and lite to cause remorse for the impending bathers season! However, if you are concerned about that summer rig, they don't just offer spaghetti and chips but serious eye candy.

Quote of the meal: 'cant talk... eating'

Rating: 4.5/5 chips

Price: $9.00Urbanspoon

Yellow Bird Cafe

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After a hiatus (failed diet), the friend-chip is back and stronger than ever. With notebook in tow and an unquenchable lust for thin strips of potatoes soaked in oil, this hot chip chick ventured to the increasingly less alternate end of Chapel Street to calm that craving. Kate Moss notoriously noted that ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’, well she clearly never had Yellow Bird’s fries. Personally, this chip admirer is inclined to devour a more voluptuous and thicker bowl but beggars can’t be choosers and this chick has been converted. Yellow Bird, a hot spot for an afternoon coffee in the sun, a hot dog dinner or a late night drink, is the ideal place to order a side of fries with guaranteed satisfaction. Boasting an array of sauces including mustard, aioli, tomato sauce, sweet chilli, sour cream and BBQ sauce, we were off to a good start for a sunny Sunday afternoon. These chips were aesthetically pleasing while simultaneously flavoursome. They were a bowl of beauty, unable to tear our eyes away from this majestic wonder – cut thinly to perfection, fried lightly without a brown chip in sight (almost unheard of with fries) and a hefty serving. When the teeth met the chip, the crunch shook the table and yet was quickly followed by a silky sensation of soft potato on the tongue. It was enjoyed with a dip of tomato sauce or just splash of salt and although the aioli was by far the best of the sauce options, when mixed with a smidge of sweet chilli, the ultimate combination was formed. The serving could satisfy two or twelve and complements breakfast, lunch or dinner. When the meal was cleared, my stomach was delighted by the lightness of the fries, able to enjoy a bloat-free food coma. With spring at our doorstep, herald in the sunshine, daylight savings and the goodbyes and welcome backs over a bowl of fries at Yellow Bird. 

Burger Joint (also known as Drugstore Espresso)

Quote of the meal: ‘Why has it been so long since I’ve blogged?’For weeks I had an insatiable craving for a burger and chips. I had all my hopes vested in this mouth watering delight to cure my winter blues. Luckily, this instinct was right. Following Agenda’s recommendation, I tried out the fresh off-the-boat burger bar on Toorak Rd formerly known as Drugstore Espresso. But let’s forget the burger and get straight to that deep fried goodness! Thick, salty and fried to perfection, these chips were heavenly. Evocative of an American classic from a diner with a modern twist of the trendy Melbourne cafe scene, these are difficult to fault. It was evident that these chips have not seen the inside of the freezer, and is true to the menu’s word of ‘house cut chips.’ There was a thin gap between the skin and the interior, exemplifying the crispness whilst the inside remained soft and gooey. The barely present potato skin emphasised that they were home-made and ensured extra crunch.  Sauce is completely unnecessary and these thick chips were the hero of the dish, deeming the burger almost irrelevant. Recommend as a late night snack after a night out in Chapel or as a 3pm break on a lazy Monday afternoon to satisfy a winter craving.   

Rating: 4.5/5 chips

Price: $7.00 (free with burgers) 

Website: http://www.burgerjoint.com.au/

Orange

That chip crey (crey, crey, crey). 

Orange can add delightful hot chips to their repertoire of espresso martinis and reasonably priced wine. These chips are reminiscent of rustic pub wedges combined with South Yarra trendiness as the crumbed, flakey interior of the potato belong in outback Australia while the presentation and the thick aioli suit the Chapel Street vibes. They complement a nice glass of wine and paired perfectly with a bourbon and coke. Cooked to perfection and satisfying the taste buds with or without the accompanying sauce, it is hard to flaw them. However, the soft interior was far too fluffy, sticking the potato to the back of the throat. While they reached the balance between wedge and fry, they lacked the memorable quality that constitutes a great bowl of chips. If you’re heading down to Chapel Street for a lazy Thursday night drink, try ordering a side of chips at Orange, but don't expect to have your mind blown.

Quote of the meal: ‘What are these? Wedges or chips?'

Rating: 3/5 chips

Price: $7.50 

Urbanspoon: Orange

Fonda Mexican

There are some experiences that when looking back on them, a feeling of satisfaction seeps through your mind, calming you as a smile escapes your face. These chips enter that category. They are so finger-licking unbelievable that they are capable of becoming a tourist attraction. The tastes and flavours could give rise to being published in the (Chip) Lonely Planet. Mexican food can officially do it all - incorporate avocado in every aspect of a meal, understand the art of cheese and create scrumptious hot chips. Described as 'Fat Chips' and covered with chipotle aoilo, they were off to a good start. When they were placed on our table, we were already devouring burritos, corn and tacos but the table froze and stopped everything to admire these flavoursome, mouthwatering strips of potato. Quite a few 'oooohs' and 'ahhhhs' escaped the table as we dug in and analysed. A smile creeped on everyones face and eyes met across the table with approval and admiration. We initially assumed we had ordered too many for the table, of course we were embarrassingly incorrect in that speculation. They were greedily demolished, with the accompanying sauce licked clean from the bowl.   These melt-in-your-mouth fried potatoes were incredibly versatile - they pulled off the covered in sauce taste, the chip on its own crunch and the tucked in the burrito flavour. Comments were, however, made suggesting that there was a tiny bit more salt than necessary but following this, it was agreed that it did not take away from the exquisite and heavenly experience. If you're down near Swan St, Richmond, take the time to eat these, I assure you, it will be an immensely gratifying and fulfilling bowl of chips. 

Quote of the meal: ‘Muchos goodos'

Rating: 4.5/5 chips

Price: $6.00 
Link: <a href="http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/71/1631993/restaurant/Melbourne/Fonda-Mexican-Richmond"><img alt="Fonda Mexican on Urbanspoon" src="http://www.urbanspoon.com/b/link/1631993/minilink.gif" style="border:none;padding:0px;width:130px;height:36px" /></a>    

Fog

Fog had been on our to do list for sometime as we had heard through the chip-vine that they were battered in duck fat. Battered combined with any form of animal fat was music to our chip-adoring ears! Well the saying 'you can't believe everything you hear' certainly applied to this situation and the disappointment was palpable. The menu elaborately described their hot chips as 'pomme frites, garlic aoili & chipolte ketchup', which was an earful for those used to 'fries with tomato sauce'. As we waited, assuming the worst, we discussed the pronunciation of chipolte and rehearsed lines that could be quoted for the blog. As the waiter served us (the gluten-free) 'pomme frites' and we all reached for the bowl, it was evident that we had made our crucial and unforgivable mistake - only ordering one bowl between the 10 of us. Promptly, a second bowl was ordered as the waiter witnessed the transformation of a civilised group of friends become ravenous animals. While we struggled to agree on the accompanying sauces, we concurred that the potato itself was magnificent! The chipolte ketchup was far too smokey, compelling us to steer clear, the garlic aoili, however, could not be flawed and epitomised the ultimate accompanying flavour. In such a large group, there was a sense of unnecessary criticism and as much as we hot-potatoes appreciate the knowledge, wisdom and love, not all of your opinions can be mentioned.
Quote of the meal: 'Can we have another bowl?'
Rating: 4/5 chips
Price: $10
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